I have an addiction to Coke

I suppose the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Rosencrantz

I respect my elders because apparently they have superpowers

I really do love living in the West Country of Great Britain. On the day of the autumn heat wave the local news informed us that the snow gritters have been put on standby. Also the news reader said "... the South West suffers from more extreme weather like floods and heat waves. This is due to the elderly." That is what the news reader actually said, I think she might have been confused. I believe she might have meant the elderly suffer from the extreme heat waves not that they cause heat waves.
- Guildenstern

The Suey Decimal System

Chinese takeaways are well known for their numbering system, like the dewey decimal classification in libraries except you get food not books. Although my Dad did get a calender from our local takeaway once and I've still no idea why. So all the dishes are labelled as numbers, yes. From number 1 to how many dishes they have, yes. So it's simple when ordering, you just say a number. Then why on earth has my local got options 9 and 9a! Why go number every dish not to number every dish with a number of its own. Your ruining your own system. Numbers aren't like letters, you don't run out after the 26th. You have from 1 to the biggest number you can think of, an infinite number of numbers, why go back to being constricted by the 26 letters of the alphabet. However, I understand many places use this number option along with a letter option and it's normally done to options that are similar or only differ slightly. But not my local; option 34) Beef Chop Suey, option 34a) Chicken with Green Pepper and Black Bean Sauce! What!
Guildenstern

Feminism is fine until there's a heavy bucket

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-THE FOLLOWING POST IS THE OPINION OF ROSENCRANTZ AND MAY NOT COINCIDE WITH THE VIEWS OF THE COLLEAGUE- 

On the other hand it may as I didn't ask.

 I am a full supporter of feminism and wholeheartedly believe that women are just as capable as any man in any profession and in anything they chose to do and should be treated accordingly.  However, I will not suddenly become offended if a nice guy happens to offer to carry something for me or help me with something that in anyway resembles manual labour.  Perhaps I'm an enemy of the cause, perhaps I care far to much about the state of my nails and perhaps I am far to quick to declare myself a frail little girl or a damsel in distress when the bucket of disgusting water, leaking from what to me is the mystery pipe, under the sink needs to be emptied.  To me being offered this help is not sexism, this is chivalry.  What woman can honestly say that when something difficult and disgusting needs doing they would prefer to handle it themselves for some mistaken sense of pride than let that helpful fellow who lives down the street (or in my current case down the corridor) handle it.  For me it is enough to know that I could do whatever it is (probably) without having to go through the discomfort of actually having to do it.  And anyway, if you can use your womanly wiles to convince some poor unsuspecting man to do the gross stuff for you surely that makes you more in control and less of a victim... take that Germaine Greer.

Musicism

Well what are all the non-ravers meant to do?  Just grow beards!?